0:00 Yo, Google on the mic, the OG in the game0:02 While you're chasing trends, we're building the whole mainframe0:05 Dropped Gemini 1.5, a million tokens deep0:08 Your little chatbot's knowledge is kindergarten-cheap0:11 We index the whole planet, you just scrape and borrow0:14 We're building for tomorrow, you're stuck on yesterday's Sora0:17 You talk a big game, but your model's full of holes0:20 We're the search bar, the map, we're the ones who own the scrolls0:23 (OpenAI) Ahem, cute speech, now watch the master work0:26 We don't need a legacy, we just need a single spark0:29 Sora's making movies that your coders couldn't dream0:32 A cinematic universe from a text-based stream0:35 You call it a million tokens? We call that bloat and lag0:38 We got the whole world prompted, putting genius in the bag0:41 You're a slow-moving giant, an advertising beast0:44 We're the nimble new religion, and Sam Altman is the priest0:47 It's the Silicon Smackdown, the keynote of the week0:50 Another press release, another mountain peak0:53 Every line of code is a punch, every launch is a blow0:55 In a battle for the future that nobody seems to know0:58 We're dropping paradigm shifts, we're changing the whole pace1:01 With a straight, unblinking, thousand-yard-stare on our face1:04 (Apple) Quiet down, children. Your little AI war is a bore1:07 While you fight in the cloud, we just walked through a new door1:10 It's called Spatial Computing, get the name right if you please1:13 We put the OS in your vision, brought reality to its knees1:16 You're arguing 'bout pixels on a two-dimensional pane1:19 We're layering existence, making digital insane1:22 This isn't just an update, it's a fundamental shift1:25 So go back to your text prompts, you can't handle this gift1:28 (Meta) A four-thousand-dollar face-hugger? Is that the best you got?1:31 Our Quest is in the millions, connecting every dot1:34 You talk about a future that's tethered to a pack1:37 We're building out the metaverse and we're never looking back1:40 Your 'walled garden' is a prison, your 'magic' is a fee1:43 We're open-source, we're building for the world to see1:46 So polish your glass front, and count your revenue1:48 While we build the actual playground for me and for you1:51 It's the Silicon Smackdown, the keynote of the week1:54 Another press release, another mountain peak1:57 Every line of code is a punch, every launch is a blow2:00 In a battle for the future that nobody seems to know2:03 We're dropping paradigm shifts, we're changing the whole pace2:06 With a straight, unblinking, thousand-yard-stare on our face2:09 They're shipping out the hardware, the software, the hype2:12 Forgetting 'bout the layoffs that they actioned overnight2:15 Forgetting 'bout the user who's the product and the price2:18 Just roll the dice, it's innovation, isn't that nice?2:21 From Palo Alto basements to the top of every chart2:24 They're playing for the win, but they're tearing it apart2:27 Disruption...2:30 Synergy...2:33 Next-Gen...2:36 Game-Changer...2:39 (Sound of a notification ping that echoes and fades)
