0:00 Monday started with a bill on the floor,0:04 A thousand pages no one read before.0:09 They called a presser, full of sound and of fury,0:14 While a tweet from a senator blurred all the blurry.0:19 A talking head screamed, another one wept,0:24 Secrets were whispered while the nation just slept... or tried to.0:29 Oh, the curtain goes up on the Capitol stage!0:34 Is this history's chapter or just a new page0:39 Of a script that gets weirder with every new line?0:44 Is it tragedy, comedy? We can't tell the sign!0:49 So we sing it out loud with a pained, jazzy hand,0:54 Welcome to Friday in this unbelievable land!0:59 Then Wednesday morning, a hearing began,1:04 About a new scandal, a ridiculous plan.1:09 The questions were dodged with a masterful grace,1:14 A masterclass taught with a straight, earnest face.1:19 The pundits all pivoted, the polls did a swing,1:24 Forgetting completely last week's terrible thing!1:29 Oh, the curtain goes up on the Capitol stage!1:34 Is this history's chapter or just a new page1:39 Of a script that gets weirder with every new line?1:44 Is it tragedy, comedy? We can't tell the sign!1:49 So we sing it out loud with a pained, jazzy hand,1:54 Welcome to Friday in this unbelievable land!1:59 Is there a writer? A director somewhere?2:04 Are we all just bit-players in this grand affair?2:09 (Music softens, a single spotlight)2:14 We practiced our lines, we learned all the cues...2:19 But nobody told us we'd be singing the news!2:24 (Music builds, orchestra swells, full cast joins in)2:29 So raise up the floodlights and strike up the band!2:34 Oh, the curtain goes up on the Capitol stage!2:39 Is this history's chapter or just a new page2:44 Of a script that gets weirder with every new line?2:49 Is it tragedy, comedy? We can't tell the sign!2:54 So we sing it out loud with a pained, jazzy hand,2:59 Welcome to Friday in this unbelievable land!3:04 (Big finish, button note, exasperated pose)3:09 ...Until Monday!
