0:00 A 2012 study found that subjects who wore a doctor's lab coat showed dramatically increased focus on attention-heavy tasks.0:11 Wait, just… putting on the coat changed how their brains worked?0:17 Exactly.0:17 The clothes weren't just on them; they were in them.0:22 Which, you know, makes me think.0:25 Last week we talked about the absurdity of waiting for a bus, but this… this feels so much more intimate.0:35 The everyday absurdity of getting dressed.0:38 Oh, don't.0:39 My closet is a philosophical war zone every single morning.0:45 I stand there and I just… freeze.0:48 It’s a graveyard of past identities.0:51 There's the me who thought I'd be a person who wears linen.0:56 That did NOT happen.0:58 Right!0:59 It’s this silent negotiation.1:01 Between "what do I actually want to wear?" and "what is the 'me' I need to perform today?" The professional me?1:12 The casual, trying-not-to-look-like-I'm-trying me?1:16 It's pure Jean-Paul Sartre.1:19 It's 'bad faith' in action.1:21 Okay, unpack that.1:23 Bad faith.1:24 Well, Sartre's whole thing is that we are radically, terrifyingly free.1:30 But that freedom creates anxiety, so we pretend we aren't.1:36 We pretend we're a "waiter" or a "boss" or a "student" as if that role is a fixed thing that dictates our actions.1:46 And our clothes.1:47 And our clothes!1:49 You put on the blazer and you tell yourself, "Well, I have to wear this for my job." You're acting as if you're an object—a professional—whose wardrobe is pre-determined.2:04 You're denying the terrifying fact that you are a free being who is CHOOSING to put on the blazer.2:13 You're hiding from your own freedom inside a J.Crew catalog.2:19 YES!2:19 You're in bad faith.2:21 You're playing a part instead of, you know, authentically existing.2:27 So what does authentically existing even look like in a closet?2:33 Is it just… sweatpants?2:35 Because honestly, my most authentic self is my Sunday morning sweatpants self.2:42 Maybe!2:43 But see, even that is a choice.2:46 You're choosing comfort.2:48 You're choosing to present as "the person who is relaxing." There's no escape.2:55 Oh god.2:55 So there's no neutral ground.2:58 There's no outfit that isn't a statement.3:02 None.3:02 And that's the "anguish" Sartre talks about.3:06 It's not that the choices are bad.3:09 It's that the choice is TOTAL, and it is entirely yours.3:15 Every single day, you are condemned to be free.3:19 Condemned to define yourself from a pile of cotton and denim.3:24 That is an unbearable amount of pressure to put on a t-shirt.3:30 It explains why I own, like, eight nearly identical gray sweaters.3:36 It’s an attempt to reduce the choice.3:39 To create a uniform for myself so I don't have to have an existential crisis at 7 a.m.3:47 It’s a totally rational response to an irrational situation.3:53 You’re trying to build a cage to protect yourself from the sheer vertigo of it all.4:00 So we’re all just… lying.4:03 To ourselves.4:04 Every morning.4:05 We pick a costume for the role we've decided to play and we pretend the script was already written for us.4:15 Most of the time, yeah.4:17 I mean, think about it.4:19 That one piece of clothing in the back of your closet.4:24 The one you love but never wear.4:27 Ohhh, I know the one.4:29 Why don't you wear it?4:31 Because it feels too much like you.4:34 It's too loud, or too weird, or too… something.4:38 It doesn't fit the role.4:41 Wearing it would be an act of pure, terrifying freedom.4:46 It would be an admission that you are not just "a manager" or "a mom." You are you.4:53 And that’s… a lot.4:55 So this whole time I thought I was just trying to match a belt to my shoes.5:02 But what I was actually doing was wrestling with the fundamental nature of human consciousness.5:10 Every single time.5:12 You’re not just choosing an outfit.5:15 You're choosing your being.5:18 You're deciding, for one more day, who you are.5:22 So tomorrow morning, when I’m staring into that abyss of fabric… what am I even supposed to do?5:31 I don't know.5:32 Maybe just pick the thing that feels true.5:36 Even if it’s only for a second.
