0:00 The part of your brain that processes physical pain also activates when you experience harsh self-criticism.0:10 Last time, we spoke about finding strength in vulnerability, in those cracks of gold...0:18 and it’s often right in those cracks that the sharpest edges of our inner critic land, feeling just like a physical wound.0:29 So for the next few moments, let’s find our way to a comfortable seat.0:36 Whatever that means for you, right now.0:39 Allow your shoulders to soften...0:42 your hands to rest in your lap.0:45 And just notice the gentle rise and fall of your own breath.0:51 In...0:51 and out.0:52 There’s a voice we all know.0:55 It doesn’t use our name.0:57 It just says… “you.”
You should have done better.1:01 You aren’t enough.1:03 You missed your chance.1:05 It’s a familiar weight.1:07 Maybe you feel it as a tightness in your chest...1:12 a clenching in your stomach...1:15 a heat rising in your face.1:17 You don’t need to search for it.1:20 It knows how to find you.1:23 And for a moment, just acknowledge it’s there.1:27 Not to argue with it, or believe it, or push it away.1:32 Just to notice it.1:34 Oh.1:34 There you are again.1:36 Here’s what that means if you’re human: that voice is a pattern, learned long ago, trying to protect you in a clumsy, painful way.1:48 It thinks that if it criticizes you first, you can avoid failure or the judgment of others.1:56 It’s a guard dog that barks at its own owner.2:00 Now...2:01 I want you to bring to mind a dear friend.2:05 Someone you care about deeply.2:08 Picture their face.2:10 Feel the warmth you have for them in your heart.2:14 Now imagine that friend comes to you, and they’re struggling with the exact same thing your inner critic is judging you for.2:26 The very same mistake...2:28 the same insecurity...2:30 the same fear.2:31 They are feeling discouraged, and small.2:35 What would you say to them?2:37 What would your tone of voice be?2:40 Would you list their failings?2:43 Or would you remind them of their strength?2:47 Would you tell them they’re not enough?2:51 Or would you tell them this one moment does not define them?2:57 Feel the compassion...2:59 the patience...3:00 the unconditional kindness that flows so EASILY from you to them.3:06 Let yourself feel that warmth.3:09 Now.3:09 Here is the only thing we are going to do.3:13 Turn that voice inward.3:15 Offer those same words...3:18 that same gentle tone...3:20 to yourself.3:21 If you told your friend, “It’s okay, you’re doing the best you can”...3:27 then whisper that to your own heart.3:31 If you told them, “This is hard, but you are strong enough to get through it”...3:38 offer that encouragement to YOURSELF.3:42 Not as a trick.3:43 But as a practice.3:45 Extending the very same grace you so freely give to others...3:51 to the one person who needs it most.3:54 Just for this breath.3:56 And the next.3:57 Let the specific story fall away.4:00 And just rest in that quiet feeling of inner friendship.4:05 This quiet, steady kindness is not something you have to earn.4:11 It is already yours to give.4:14 The kindest voice you hear all day can be your own.
