0:00 A study in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that people with poor boundaries experience significantly higher stress and emotional exhaustion.0:12 Sixty-three percent of us say we're people pleasers.0:16 In our last episode, we talked about affirmations grounded in real self-acceptance.0:23 Today, we put them to work on the hardest reality of all: protecting your own peace.0:30 This isn't about being difficult.0:32 It's about being honest.0:34 A boundary, as one therapist put it, is simply "the intersection at which I can take care of myself and be fully present with you." It’s not a wall.0:46 It’s a welcome mat that says, "Here is where you can stand with me, safely and with respect." But knowing that and DOING that are two different worlds.0:59 So today, we practice.1:00 We find the words.1:02 Not just any words.1:03 The right words.1:05 Five affirmations for five moments where everything in you wants to say yes, but your spirit needs you to say no.1:14 Here’s the first one.1:16 For when they ask for more of your time, your energy, your work...1:21 and you are already running on empty.1:24 You feel that pull, that desire to be helpful, to be the one who saves the day.1:30 But your tank is dry.1:32 Before you answer them, you answer yourself.1:36 My capacity is not infinite, and I honor its limits.1:40 My time is a resource I choose how to spend.1:44 Saying no to this request is saying yes to my own well-being.1:49 Next.1:49 For when your decision is met with disappointment.1:53 Or anger.1:54 Or a guilt trip.1:55 That moment when someone tries to make their feelings your responsibility.2:01 They aren't.2:02 You are not the source of their reaction, and you are not obligated to fix it.2:08 This is the hardest one.2:10 Breathe.2:11 And say this to yourself.2:13 I am responsible for the intention behind my words, not for other people’s interpretation of them.2:21 I can be compassionate without being captive to their emotions.2:26 My peace does not require their permission.2:30 Third.2:30 For when the request involves your money or your resources.2:35 The "can I just borrow" that you know you'll never see again.2:40 The pressure to invest in something that doesn't feel right.2:45 The financial choices of others are not a debt you have to pay.2:50 Your security matters.2:52 I am the steward of my own financial health.2:55 I build a future that is secure and stable.2:59 I can be generous from a place of abundance, not obligation.3:04 My financial boundaries protect my future.3:07 Number four.3:08 This is for AFTER you’ve set the boundary.3:11 For that moment of doubt, when your mind starts replaying the conversation.3:18 Did I do it right?3:19 Was I too harsh?3:20 Am I a bad person?3:22 Stop.3:22 You are not a bad person for protecting yourself.3:26 You are a wise one.3:28 Every boundary I set is an act of self-respect.3:32 It is evidence that I value myself.3:34 This feeling of discomfort is temporary; it is the feeling of growth.3:40 I am proud of myself for honoring my needs.3:44 And finally, number five.3:46 This is the deep one.3:47 The one that gets at the root of it.3:50 For when you fear that setting a boundary will make you unlovable.3:56 That if you aren't constantly giving, you have no value.4:00 That is the oldest lie there is.4:03 You are not a resource to be consumed.4:06 You are a person to be known.4:08 My worth is inherent.4:10 It is not measured by my utility to others.4:13 I deserve to take up space.4:16 I deserve to have needs.4:18 I am worthy of relationships that honor the FULL me, boundaries and all.4:23 These aren't just words.4:25 They are a practice.4:27 A rewiring of your brain that says, "I am here.4:31 I matter.4:32 My needs are valid." A study found that affirmations like these actually activate your brain's reward system.4:40 You are literally creating new, positive beliefs with every repetition.4:46 So don't just listen to these.4:49 Use them.4:49 Write them down.4:51 Say them in the mirror.4:53 Say them in the car before you walk into that meeting.4:57 Feel them in your bones until they are more true, more REAL than the old habit of putting yourself last.5:05 This isn't about building walls to keep people out.5:10 It's about building a foundation strong enough to hold the life you actually want.5:16 A life where you can be fully present, fully engaged, and fully YOURSELF.5:22 Because you took care of yourself first.
